Where the hell do I start. BBQ? Yeah, those who saw my other journal know that story. Damn strong Thunderstorms fucked that up. Stupid fucking holiday isn't even a real holiday. Fucking depression bullshit and my fucking mom.
You want to read about the BBQ and the storms? look in one of my other journals.
The reason this wasn't a real holiday is because it fucking sucked. Last time We had family over and had a really nice grill out with a picnic and everything. We had an amazing feast and then went to watch the fireworks which was awesome. This year what did I eat for a dinner feast? Microwave chicken tenders and fries. and a small cup of ice cream. Whoop-de-fucking-do. The rain canceled the fireworks, mom's freaking out cause the neighborhood fireworks and fire crackers that people are setting off sound like gunshots to her. She's freaking out and pissing me off. Can't even enjoy the Macy's July 4th fireworks cause she wants me on the porch while she goes outside to check on things. (Why I don't fucking know)
Why else was it a shitty day? Spent two hours on some art where I'm FINALLY getting off my ass and drawing not just my two pikachu oc's but, my Pony oc as well and it was turning out really awesome and just the way I wanted it to then Muro has to go and fuck up. I wonder if I can complain to DA about that since they never said anything about there being a certain limit or glitch to how much or how long a muro can hold. I can't even find the way to turn off the follow the artist icon. It wouldn't have messed up in the old Muro.
Want to know what else? Yeah, that's right, I'm not done. Dad might get laid off by the end of the month. ain't that just fucking awesome! That means Goodbye Internet Goodbye Cable Goodbye pretty much anything fun. Dad busts his ass everyday for his job and they fucking treat him like shit.
and once again mom presses the fucking issue to get a job. for that last time, WHAT PART OF "I HAVE BEEN TRYING!!" DO YOU NOT FUCKING UNDERSTAND!? I tell her I don't want to talk about and I want to be left alone but, does she respect that? Fuck no. I wanted to tell her so bad to SHUT THE FUCK UP but, I didn't because I have more respect for her then she does for me. Gawd, I really fucking hate being so nice all the time.
Maybe I should be a bitch. Rude selfish people seem to live the better side of life. I'm so tired of getting hurt and betrayed. I try so hard to be respectful and I try to help and I pretty much get stomped on every single time. I can't take it anymore. It's too much fro me to take at once. Not having a job is the worst part of my depression and mom has the fucking nerve to say that I'm not depressed. HOW THE FUCK WOULD SHE KNOW! I just want to cry. Maybe I'll get luck and drown in my tears. It seems they'd be better off without me anyway.
Whats the point of going on if I can't catch a break and get smacked in the face every time I try. I really just wan tto lay down and die. No one would miss me. Especially not my mom since she doesn't give a damn about how I feel or what I'm going through. She says she'll try but, the next day she's forgotten her promise.